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S&V Cast

Since S&V has been so erratic in its updates, and such, some of you may not recognize some of the key players...


REAL NAME: Universal Improvement Industries Food Service Drone: Unit LY491
OCCUPATION: Professional Killer
SUGGESTED VOICE TALENT: Joey Lauren Adams (Chasing Amy)

U.I.I. Food Service Drone LY719 maintained a pleasant existance as an automated waitress at one of the seven Cohee's Family Restaurants in the greater metropolitan area. One night, however, while attending to the customers in section B, she was abducted and promptly reprogrammed for use in an assassination task. However, her general operating system is still that of a waitress, and thus, dictates that she maintain a pleasant, curteous, genial attitude at all times, which seriously complicates her new line of programming. Although a brutal, effective killing machine, she still maintans a sweet, pleasant, and overly-considerate demeanor. Subsequently, she malfunctioned and escaped, only to put her new talents to use as a freelance contract killer.

At present, Ajax's processor is not equipped for extreme professionalism, although she does have a rudimentary program which enables her to act with proper cordiality around potential clients. Apart from that, she's reckless and extremely destructive, with no conscience, sense of morality, deceny, or of the reprecussions of her actions. Nevertheless, she is very successful at what she does and is in very high demand for her services.


Billy Groggins
Billy Groggins

REAL NAME: William Jefferson Groggins
OCCUPATION: Unemployed (Psychiatric Ward Inmate)

Billy Groggins was, at one point, a normal, happy child. He had wonderful parents who loved him dearly and raised him properly. Unfortunately, one day, his parents were killed in an autombile accident and little Billy was sent to live with his aunt & uncle. From that point on, life took a serious downward spiral.

Billy's aunt & uncle were bitter, unhappy people who treated Billy like he was a burden on their already-miserable existances. Desperate to get rid of him, his aunt & uncle would regularly berate and beat little Billy, as well as slip various halluncinogenic drugs into his food each day, which slowly, but surely altered his sense of reality to the point where he wasn't able to discern real from imagined. Promptly thereafter, Billy was shipped to Shady Oaks Psychiatric Hospital where he had spent ten years.

While Billy did experience various traumatic episodes while under observation at Shady Oaks, he was never a truly dangerous patient until a few years ago. During that time, he happened upon a stuffed monkey which had been lodged behind one of the couches in the Rec room. He named the monkey "Mr. Bingo," and was inseperable from the toy from that point on. It was at that point that Billy began to slip deeper and deeper into madness, and started becoming more violent and erratic. Doctors believed it had something to do with the toy monkey, but after several incidents of hospital staff being severely maimed or worse at the hands of a deeply-disturbed Billy Groggins when trying to remove the toy, Billy was locked away in the criminally insane wing of Shady Oaks, and kept under maximum surveilance, so as not to harm anyone... Until, of course, when he woke up one night to find that Mr. Bingo had disappeared...

Then, all hell broke loose.


REAL NAME: Ernie Bishop
OCCUPATION: Operation Support
SUGGESTED VOICE TALENT: John Cusack (High Fidelity)

Bishop was, at one point, a promising student, who was inches away from getting his masters in robotics. However, a sudden lapse of bad judgement involving the campus-wide posting of pictures of the Dean of the University in compromising positions with an underage hooker dressed up like a Catholic Schoolgirl resulted in his being kicked out of school, and the following lawsuits left him in financial ruin.

Bishop soon turned to scrounging on the streets to survive, ever thinking of a way to get back into the life he once had. One night, while collecting cans in a back alley for recycling fee, he happened upon a malfunctioning, inactive Ajax. Thinking he might be able to repair her and sell her off at a nice, tidy price, he fixed her up. However, upon learning Ajax's function, he decided to keep her and use her as a stepping stone to regain his former life.

Von Zell
Von Zell

REAL NAME: Herr Heinrich Von Zell
OCCUPATION: Legitimate Businessman / Head of International Criminal Syndicate "Zahn des Drachen"
SUGGESTED VOICE TALENT: Tim Curry (The Rocky Horror Picture Show)

Heinrich Von Zell has overseen the operation of the Zahn des Drachen (Dragon's Tooth) Crime Syndicate since it's inception in Berlin, 65 years ago. He started out as a meager footsoldier in the organization, but quickly moved up the ranks, due to his quick mind and ruthless tactics. Within a year, he was running the business (due to the "mysterious" disappearance of former organization leader, Ulf Henneman).

From that point on, Von Zell moved the organization forward by a span of leaps and bounds. The Zahn des Drachen soon became the most feared and respected criminal organization in all of Europe. Soon after, Von Zell turned his attention towards the Americas as well, and set up a secondary base of operations in New York City, where he would oversee both the operations on both continents. However, at the peak of his success, Von Zell's health began to flag.

Not wanting to relinquish control of his organization to any of his underlings, whom he deemed "too weak" to handle the Zahn des Drachen, Von Zell turned his attention towards producing an heir. However, as fate would have it, not one of the hundreds of women selected to bear Von Zell an heir was able to conceive. By this time, Von Zell was growing decrepit and unable to survive without an oxygen tank. He was 83 years old, and could feel the icy hands of death approaching, so he decided to employ his failsafe scenario...

Cloning himself.

Von Zell was secreted away to a hidden laboratory, wherein his scientists began constructing a new body for the aged crime boss. Their plan was to created a new body from infancy, and artificially age the body to the point where it would be entirely safe to implant Von Zell's conciousness into the new body, hence, giving Von Zell a new lease on life. However, such was not to be, as shortly after the body had developed shortly past infancy, Von Zell went into cardiac arrest. Desperate, the doctors did what they felt was the best thing possible, and immediately tranferred Von Zell's mind into the body. The transfer was a success, and Von Zell was spared and still in complete control of his mental faculties, but it left him in the body of a toddler. Nevertheless, Von Zell surrounded himelf with a cadre of bodyguards and retook control of the Zahn des Drachen and continued to propell the organization further and further into the future.

Joe Average, by Aaron M. Holm

Living in Greytown, by Dave Kelly   Exploitation Now!, by Michael Poe   Deathworld, by Rudi Gunther   Krazy Larry, by Paul Southworth   S.S.D.D., by Alan Foreman  

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